It would appear, based on many of the comments I receive' that quite a few of you don't understand the fundamental difference between courtesy and respect. I don't really blame you for that, in fact I seriously doubt its your fault. The problem lies in a society that hasn't taught the difference between courtesy and respect in over 40 years. For the last four decades or more Americans have been indoctrinated into a philosophy of unearned self esteem and consequence free hedonism by popular culture, our educational system, and the entertainment industry. We've been taught that everybody "deserves" to be respected, and only a very few of us are intelligent enough, strong enough, or pay enough attention to the world around us to realise how false this teaching is.
So as a PSA, I'm going to enlighten all of you silly little fools who come here to be offended, while simultaneously boring the few intelligent readers who come here by repeating what they already know.
Courtesy is given.
Respect is earned.
As an example, if you're on the bus and you see an old man looking for a seat, and give him yours, that NOT treating him with respect, that's being courteous.
On the other hand if you recognise that the old man is Stan Lee, and you give him your seat because you admire his work, that IS respect.
Do you see the fundamental difference?
In a civilised society we are supposed to treat everyone courteously, but extend our respect to only a few.
We respect those who have accomplished things we admire. We are courteous to those we do not know.
In fact, its impossible to respect someone without knowing them (or at least being familiar with their accomplishments), as respect can only be earned through ones actions.
I respect Bill gates, I respect George Patton, I respect Chuck Dixon.
You? You're lucky if I even decide to be courteous to you.
So please do us all a favor and stop posting in my comments page that "I don't treat anyone with respect" or asking "what so and so has done to earn your disrespect" because all your doing by asking such a stupid question is proving to me that you're not worthy of my respect. MMkay?
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9 comments:
Wow, the redneckism is off the HOOK
and your idiocy is as boring as it is plebian.
and your plebianism is as boring as it is idiotic.
I learned something here. thanks.
My pleasure ben.
excellent points.
i've been reeling over the inherit difference between respect and courtesy in my head for a while now and it's nice to know someone else agrees with me.
but what do you think about people who don't have the decency to show courtesy to other members of their society?
I love that I'm not the only one who believes this as-well. My entire school believes that you should respect every one instantly even the teachers say that you need to respect others, I try to explain to them what they really mean is that one should show courtesy to others, they than agree but their usually answer is that every one else in the class isn't as intelligent as me and they don't know the difference between respect and courtesy. which then leads me to give them less respect as a teacher for not educating them, giving the impression they don't know the difference either.
Well MM, in true mad man fashion, you seem to have it all arse about face man.
Basically you're saying that you only respect those who have done something on the extraordinary scale, so conversely, you don't respect yourself or your family until and unless they do something exceptional. But you CAN be courteous to them ...I wonder...
So how about looking at it from an opposite perspective ie
'Innocent until proven guilty' ie people get automatic respect for being fellow humans on our human journey, until they prove UNworthy of it. And, like anything respect is on a scale, so those who are exceptional get GREAT respect. Whereas us ordinary humans get ordinary respect.
If you truly respected yourself, you'd feel this to be true. Courtesy is simply the demonstration, the outward manifestation of that respectfulness
What do you think?
Everyone deserves courtesy
Respect is earned one-on-one
If its not one-on-one then that is adulation
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