The difference between winners and losers.

What is the difference between a winner and a loser? How can you tell if someone is a winner who has suffered a temporary defeat or a loser? How can you tell if you yourself have become a loser?

Easy, listen for the excuse. Losers always make excuses, its why they're losers. Winners own their failures and learn from them.

This simple and mostly under appreciated fact is what all the feminists, minority activists, social justice types, socialists, leftists, redistribution of wealth types, etc simply don't get. Losers make excuses, winners make things happen.

Find yourself complaining about "rampant and institutional sexism in America" as the reason you didn't get that job you wanted? You're a loser. Find yourself bitching about the "ever present racism of American employers" as the reason you didn't get a job? Congratulations you just made the loser list. Think the reason a colleague got the promotion instead of you is because of your color, sex, religion, etc? You are a loser.

This is not a sometimes rule, or a rule of thumb, its a hard rule. Anytime you make excuses for your failures, you have become a loser. Period.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, the "wage gap" between men and women doesn't exist as a practical matter, men and women with similar age, education, and experience, earn the same amount. So why do you hear so much about it? Losers. Losers are always looking for an excuse. An excuse which allows them to place the blame on society itself are particularly popular since it will always be "valid". After all, despite the fact that more women are graduating college every year than men, the wage gap is non-existent, and the glass ceiling has been shattered, have feminists stopped bitching about sexism as the reason women aren't as successful at the highest levels as men?
Of course not. They're losers, and losers need their excuses.
Go into any poor neighborhood and start talking to people about why they don't make more money, you'll hear about sexism, racism, affirmative action, immigrants, the cost of college, "privilege", corporatism etc. Not one person will place the blame for their failures on their own lack of interest in self improvement, not one will blame his failure on his lack of education or skills, or on their lack of desire to obtain said. People who spend 100 dollars a week on beer and cigarettes will tell you with a straight face that they cant "afford" healthcare, trade school, or higher education. Guys who are out the door as soon as their shift is over decry their inability to get promoted.
In the meantime immigrants who come to this country illegally are usually able to begin earning more than natives with similar education and skills within a few years of crossing the border.
The truth is, America is the land of opportunity if you're willing to make the sacrifices necessary to capitalise on that opportunity. Wanna get ahead? Work harder, spend less. Wanna get promoted? Put in more hours, begin helping current management, act as a manager and they will make you one. Want a raise? Make yourself more valuable than your coworkers. Want to get that job? Dress well at the interview, speak well at the interview, have the skills, qualifications, and experience necessary to do the job, and you might get it.

Being a winner is hard. It means not taking the easy way out, not making excuses, it means working both hard, and smart. It means that when you have a temporary failure, you ask yourself "what could I have done differently" instead of "how did the world wrong me this time"? It means that even in instances where sexism, or racism, or other ism's may have been reason you failed, you intentionally ignore the possibility and focus on what you did wrong instead.

Now that last sentence may have thrown a few of you. It wasn't a typo. Even in a situation where you have a good, solid, reason to suspect an ism may be the reason things didn't go your way, focus on yourself instead. Why? Because while thinking "I didn't get that job because the interviewer is a racist/sexist/ageist" etc, may be emotionally satisfying, it doesn't help you improve at all. Looking at the interview and saying "I should have done X,Y,and Z, better" will. Saying to yourself "I didn't get the promotion because I'm a woman" may help you accept the disappointment of not getting the promotion, and it will probably make you better about yourself, but it wont help you get the next one. Asking yourself "What are some of the reasons I may not have gotten this promotion, and how can I change that" will. Even if this one instance was sexism, simply getting into the habit of self criticizing will lead to long term improvement. More to the point, you will be far better positioned to compete against others at your next job.

But bitching about ism's? Coming up with complex theories to explain why others are getting what you want? Complaining about "privilege" or "patriarchies",and "invisible and institutional" biases?

That's for losers.

Winners make things happen, Losers make excuses. Which are you?